Some Unwritten Messages — Unwritten Letter from the Books | Hassu.M

I still do not know why you left.

Maybe your heart had grown tired of me. Maybe somewhere along the way you misunderstood me. Maybe there were too many small misunderstandings between us, and slowly they became bigger than the love we once had.

But sometimes I wonder why you never stopped for a moment and thought about the person you were leaving behind.

You knew me.

You knew I was loyal to you. You knew how deeply I loved you. You knew the intensity with which I cared about you. You knew that even when I made mistakes, there was never anything false in the way I loved you. You knew my heart was never against you.

And still, with a clear mind, you chose to break everything.

You ended the relationship. You ended the friendship. You broke the trust. You broke the promises.

You did all of it knowing how much it would hurt me.

You knew Hasnain would cry.

You knew there would come a day when there would be no more meetings, no late night conversations, no random messages, no sharing small things from the day, and maybe not even the courage to mention each other's names anymore.

You knew the habits I had built around you would hurt me once you were gone.

You knew how many little parts of my life had slowly started belonging to you. The way I waited for your messages. The way I wanted to tell you everything first. The way I imagined my future and somehow always found you standing inside it.

You knew about the hopes I had placed in you.

Still, you decided that being without me was better.

Hasnain tried to stop you. He cried more than he should have. He asked you to stay even when his dignity was slowly disappearing in front of his own eyes.

But the more he tried to explain his pain, the more irritating he became to you.

Every complaint he made came from the fear of losing you, but you only heard the complaint. You never heard the fear behind it.

Every time Hasnain told you that something was hurting him, you thought he was creating problems. Every time he tried to clear a misunderstanding, somehow another misunderstanding was born.

And maybe that was the most painful part.

I was trying to save us while you had already started seeing me as the reason you needed to leave.

I do not regret crying for you anymore.

I do not regret asking you to stay.

Maybe somewhere inside me, I already knew that the person who truly wants to leave has usually left long before the final goodbye. Their body is still there, their messages still arrive, their voice still sounds familiar, but their heart has already started walking away.

I think your heart had already gone.

Mine had not.

Hasnain did not want to separate from you because he was not only losing a person. He was losing an entire life he had imagined with you.

There were years inside those dreams.

There were ordinary mornings. There were tired evenings. There were fights followed by apologies. There were birthdays, dinners, long drives, stupid jokes, difficult days, quiet rooms, growing older, and a thousand little moments that had never happened yet, but somehow already felt real to me.

I had imagined a long life.

You ended it with one short decision.

And that is something people rarely understand about heartbreak.

Sometimes you are not only mourning the person who left.

You are mourning the future that left with them.

I know life is not a film where two people suddenly meet again years later and everything makes sense. Maybe we will never sit in front of each other again. Maybe we will never talk about what really happened between us. Maybe one day we will become nothing more than two people who once knew everything about each other and now know nothing at all.

That thought hurts more than I know how to explain.

Because I wanted to stay.

You wanted to go.

And perhaps that is the only answer I will ever have.

Maybe Hasnain will learn to live with this pain. Maybe he will laugh again, work again, meet people again, and look completely fine to everyone around him.

But somewhere inside him, there may always remain a quiet place where you still exist exactly as you were.

Not because he is waiting for you.

Not because he expects you to come back.

But because some people leave our lives without ever completely leaving our hearts.

You chose to walk away.

I chose you until I no longer had a choice.

And maybe that is why losing you will always hurt differently.